4 tricks to making every child in a large family feel special

September 29, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, Christ, families, God, kids, large family, Parents

There’s a humorous but wise adage that many parents who are having their third child eventually hear: “Man-to-man defense no longer applies. You’ll have to switch to a zone.”

The meaning in a nutshell? The kids now outnumber the parents.

I had heard friends talk about the blessings and challenges of a larger family but didn’t fully understand it until my wife and I added twins to our “bunch,” which automatically bumped our small family of three to a “large” family of five – thereby putting us at that out-of-the-way corner booth in all the restaurants. No longer would we fit at 95 percent of the restaurant tables or 99 percent of the hotel rooms.

That also meant it was not possible for each child to be held, for each kid to receive individual attention, for each child to sit in a lap. I’ve always been one who wants to see needs met, so it was a major adjustment. After all, I physically couldn’t read a story to my twins and ride bike with my oldest son at the same time – even though I wanted to do both. (It did, though, put me in awe of God more, because He
can comfort the little boy in China and the little girl in America simultaneously.)

So can a mother and father of multiple kids still make each one feel special? Yes. Here are four suggestions:
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‘Dad, what does it mean to glorify God?’ — 3 ways to help your child understand life’s purpose

August 12, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, glorify god, glory, God, Jesus, Parents, teaching children

Before they were 2, my children could answer the first question of the catechism – “Who made you?” – by pointing skyward and shouting in their respective sweet voices, “God!”

Soon they also were learning why God created them. My daughter had just celebrated her second birthday when she would respond to “why did God make you?” with an excited and precious “goalie!” – her best effort at “for His glory.”

Of course, she doesn’t know what that means, but many adults don’t, either.

The theme of God’s glory is spread throughout Scripture, but we too often walk away puzzled. And that, in turn, makes it difficult to explain the concept to our inquisitive children as they grow older.

One of my favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” Sounds great, but what specifically does that mean? How do we glorify God in everything?

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word “glory” carries the idea of “greatness” and “splendor.” In the New Testament Greek it means “dignity,” “honor,” “praise” and “worship.” [1]

So, yes, to glorify God means to praise and worship Him, but we can’t stop there. That verse in 1 Corinthians tells us to glorify God in everything we do. But how? The answer’s actually quite simple, and we can draw a parallel to the relationship between a parent and child. How does a child please his or her parents? By loving them and obeying them. And that’s how many kids’ catechisms explain this difficult question: We glorify God by “loving him and doing what He commands” throughout the day.

We glorify God when we sing to Him and pray to Him and read His Word, but we also glorify God when we do what He tells us to do and when we love Him – in “whatever” we’re doing, as 1 Corinthians 10:31 says. John Piper defines glorifying God by saying it’s when we feel, think and act in ways that reflect His greatness, that make much of Him. We glorify God when we do that which we were created to do. Children’s author Sally Lloyd-Jones summed all that up by saying it’s when we “make a big deal” of God. I like that definition. It’s simple … and biblical.

How, then, are we to explain this to small children, without pulling out the theology book and putting them to sleep? My suggestion: Explain God to them in such a way that their only response is to praise, worship and glorify God. Here are three ideas:

1. Make a big deal about God’s splendor. Begin with creation, to which kids are naturally drawn. Teach your children that God made everything, that God owns everything, and that God is bigger than anything. At an early age tell them (excitedly) all the amazing things that God made – the animals, the trees, the oceans, the stars – and then as they grow older help them understand the infinite size of God. But keep it on their level. When my oldest son was about 4, I naively told him that God was bigger than the earth, the sun and the universe, when he turned to me and asked innocently, “Is God bigger than a mountain?” To him, a mountain was the biggest thing anywhere and to him, the universe’s size meant nothing. Now 6, he’s amazed that God knows the number of stars in the sky and grains of sand on the beach and hairs on his head. Additionally, teach your kids that God owns everything, too – their house, their room, their toys – and that they’re merely tenants. Soon, they’ll see that this God must be a big deal.

2. Make a big deal about God’s holiness. It may seem challenging to teach kids about this concept, but it’s really not. Begin by teaching that Jesus never sinned – even as a child. I tell my children that Jesus as a boy never disobeyed His parents, that Jesus loved even the boys and girls who were mean to Him, and that Jesus never lied. Of course, the Bible is largely silent about Jesus’ childhood, but we’re not stretching Scripture by making these basic points. After all, we know He was a child at one point, that He never sinned, that He had parents, and that all children play with other children. My oldest son still finds it amazing that the boy Jesus never sinned. Stories like these are a great stepping stone to discussing a larger concept: God is pure and holy and hates sin.

3. Make a big deal about God’s love. Discuss regularly with your child all the ways God loves you and has blessed you, even when life is difficult. He gave you food and clothes and a place to live and (perhaps even) good health. That’s a lot on its own – and those are just the things we take for granted. I’ll often remind my kids that children in some parts of the world don’t have any toys, much less a batch for virtually each season. Of course, the central story in teaching about God’s love is the Gospel: That God the Father sent His Son to the earth to die on the cross for our sins, that Christ took the punishment we deserve, and that He rose from the grave. Tell them with a big smile that God loves them more than anyone does – that He loves us even when we sin, that he doesn’t give up on us, and that He’s constantly pursuing us. That’s an amazing kind of love — a wonderful love that should lead us, and our children, to glorify God.

[1] GotQuestion.org

Michael Foust is an editor and writer who blogs about parenting and fatherhood. He loves his family and also really likes stove top popcorn. Interested in re-posting this in your publication or on your blog for free? Send me a message in the comments section below (the message won’t go public). Also, check out my video section.

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You’ve got (snail) mail: 3 reasons to write letters (not texts) with your kids

July 25, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents & media usage, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, Christ, God, letter-writing, letters, Parents, snail mail, writing letters

The average teenager sends about 2,000 messages a month – and receives another 2,000. And that’s not even counting Tweets, Facebook posts and instant messages.

I’m not a teen, but I do text, Tweet and all that other social media stuff. I sometimes brag to my wife that I was texting before texting was cool, way back in the previous millennia. My friends would say, “Why text when you can simply call?” And I’d reply, “Just wait until 2014 and you’ll understand.”

I don’t have a teen but I do have a 6-year-old who enjoys texting whenever he can get his parents’ phones. I also have a sweet little girl who can’t text yet but is really good – for a 2-year-old, mind you – at just about any alphabet game on the iPhone. I’m sure she’ll be texting soon.

We live in a world of electronic infatuation and instant communication, and it sounds futile – backwards, really – to try any form of communication that doesn’t involve a keyboard or keypad.

Nevertheless, my oldest son and I often write letters.

What’s a “letter,” you say? Well, a long, long, long time ago, people wrote these things called “paragraphs,” using what was called a “pen,” and they’d “mail” their letter in an “envelope.” (Just look it up on Wikipedia.) It took about two days for a friend to receive it.

It eventually was dubbed “snail mail,” and it was wonderful in so many ways that a text just isn’t.

Why would I teach my son to write letters? Here’s three reasons:

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Mold your kid into a patriot: 7 flag-waving ways to teach children a love for American history

June 29, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged american history, child, Children, fourth of july, God, history, mark twain, praying, teaching american history, united states

Mark Twain may have said it best: “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”

That’s a good approach just about any day, but especially during polarized times such as these. After all, very few of us are happy with the way things are going in Washington, D.C., no matter your party. And even if you are among the few who are pleased with Congress and the president, just give it a few years. Things will change. That’s the nature of politics; it’s cyclical.

There’s a lot I’d change about D.C. and the country, but I still love America and the ideals for which it stands. That’s the way my wife and I are raising our kids. We don’t worship America but we do believe the U.S. is immensely blessed — and we want our kids to appreciate that.

Here are seven ways we’ve taught our kids about the United States and its history that might benefit your family, too:

1. Tell them about America’s triumphs. Teach them about the freedoms the Founders established that were uniquely American at the time – freedom of the press and religion. Talk about the great inventors: Samuel Morse (telegraph), Alexander Graham Bell (telephone), Thomas Edison (phonograph, motion picture camera, electric light bulb), the Wright Brothers (airplane). Discuss the role America played in World War I and II, and the way it won the space race and put the first man on the moon, and even won that 1980 Miracle on Ice.

2. Tell them about America’s flaws. Otherwise, their perspective of the United States will be skewed, even unbiblical. No country is perfect. We’re still a nation, for instance, that enslaved an entire race and that waited nearly 150 years to give women the right to vote. Then tell them how the Founders, through the Constitution, laid the groundwork to right the nation’s wrongs, and how no country – no matter how dominant – can thrive continuously without God’s blessings (Daniel 2:21, Psalm 22:28).
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Take your child to a cemetery? Of course you should … and often (and here’s 4 reasons why)

June 24, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged cemeteries, cemetery, Children, children and cemeteries, Christ, death, eternity, God, Parents

I’m not sure at what point during our courtship my wife and knew we were headed for marriage, but it may have been around the time we realized we shared an odd interest: We each enjoyed visiting cemeteries.

After we married and before we had children, we visited the graves of nearly 10 presidents – sort of normal, I suppose — but we also walked through the old historic cemetery in the city and just about any small graveyard we stumbled upon.

It’s a fun and quirky habit I’ve maintained with my oldest son, who is 6, and one that I plan on continuing with his two younger siblings. Each time, we have a blast.

Perhaps you are confused as to why any parent would willingly take his or her child to a cemetery, over and over. Here are four reasons I do it, and you should, too:
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