4 (more) New Year’s resolutions for a more Christ-centered family

January 10, 2016 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, God, new year, new year's resolution, Parents

My youngest son was born six months ago this month. During that time he has learned to hold his head up, grab toys, roll over, and — my favorite — smile.

It’s been an incredible short journey, but it certainly doesn’t seem like he was born six months ago. In fact, it seems more like five minutes.

A friend warned me years ago that when you have children, time accelerates. It’s as if “Back to the Future’s” Marty McFly and Doc Brown are in charge of your life, driving you from year to year in their magical DeLorean—all with the power of that much-needed flux capacitor.

But we don’t need to depend on Hollywood movies to understand and appreciate the brevity of time. God warned us long ago that our lives are like a “mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). The Bible’s point isn’t to depress us but to give us a sense of urgency—to encourage us to treat each day as if it could be our last. Life, after all, is a gift, and we should live with a spotlight on eternity (Hebrews 13:14).

But with so many distractions in our day-to-day lives, how do we stay focused? Here’s one way: Make meaningful New Year’s resolutions. Last year I listed five resolutions on this blog: Each day vow to read the Bible with your child; get home from work earlier; say more positive words around your child; spend less time on your smartphone and love your spouse more in front of your children). This year, I’m listing a few more—for me and perhaps for you, too.

If you’re looking for a few resolutions for 2016, consider these:

1. Pray for your kids. I’m not referencing the weekly or monthly “dear-God-please bless-my-child” prayer. I’m talking about pleading with God each day—and even throughout the day—for your kids. Yes, pray for their health, their grades and their relationships, but also pray for their future. Do you want them to have a great career? Marry a godly spouse? Give you wonderful grandchildren? Then pray for it. The Bible says there are blessings from God we don’t receive because we don’t ask (James 4:3). That’s convicting, isn’t it?
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Is ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ suitable for young kids? (Here’s your spoiler-free answer)

December 18, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Christ, force awakens, God, kids, movie, Parents, star wars

I was five when the first “Star Wars” movie was released, eight when “The Empire Strikes Back” came out, and 11 when “Return of the Jedi” hit theaters. My parents let me watch those latter two films on the big screen, but kept me home for the first one.

Now, some three decades later, I am asking myself the question a lot of parents this month are raising: Should I take my children to see the newest film in the franchise, “The Force Awakens”? And … will they have nightmares for a year if I do let them go?

If you want the spoiler-free answer – or at least this traditional parent’s take on it – then keep reading.

I watched “The Force Awakens” with a critical eye on opening day, and after talking with a few other parents in the theater lobby, came to this conclusion: I would not take a 3- or 4-year-old kid to see it. I might take a 7-year-old to watch it. I would take a 10-year-old to see it – that is, if the kid is discerning.

My oldest children are 7 and 3 (nearly 4). I know this film would terrify my almost-4-year-old son, and there are a few scenes that potentially could give my 7-year-old son some bad dreams. But I am considering taking him to it, with the understanding that I need to shield his eyes in at least two specific scenes (both involving Kylo Ren).

Of course, every child is different, and you may have a 6-year-old who is mature enough to view it with no problem.

But it is rated PG-13 for a reason. Comparing its violence and “scary” content to the other films, it is less violent and less scary than “Revenge of the Sith” (PG-13) and at least as violent and scary as “Return of the Jedi” (PG, but likely would have garnered a PG-13 if that rating had existed). If your child handled “Return of the Jedi” with no problem – even the spooky Emperor-Luke-Darth battle at the end – then you’re probably fine. But if not, then you may want to keep the kids home. “The Force Awakens” is more violent and more scary than the first “Star Wars” film and “The Empire Strikes Back.”
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3 things to teach your daughter about true beauty

November 11, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents & media usage, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged beauty, Bible, daughter, God, Parents, princess, true beauty

My daughter Maggie is only 3 but she already knows what she wants to be when she grows up.

A princess.

But not just any princess. She wants to be a beautiful princess. And preferably, one who wears pink dresses. And does ballet.

Three years ago, I despised the princess craze. Why would I—I thought at the time—want my daughter to chase after an unattainable physical beauty that only resides in fantasies and Hollywood-style Disney movies?

But here I am, three years later, with a daughter who wants nothing more than to be pretty and to wear nail polish, and who wakes up every morning wanting to don the latest princess fashion.

How did I get here? Believe me, I didn’t promote it.

As much as I’d love to blame Disney, I really can’t. If I did that, then I might as well blame the football manufacturer who designed the kiddie pigskin her twin brother recently used to break a light bulb. Just as he is naturally attracted to physical activity, she has a natural yearning to be physically beautiful. And that latter concept terrifies me.

It scares me to think about my daughter growing up in a culture where a simple trip to the grocery store can turn into a fleshly battle, with society screaming at every turn: “You’re not beautiful enough!” There, on the billboard, is the perfect-looking Hollywood star, telling anyone who happens to look: “This is what you should look like.” And there, on the cover of the checkout-line magazine, is that same woman, only this time she’s lost half of her clothes and is promoting a “secret” diet and exercise routine that helped her lose all of that baby weight and get back down to 98 pounds!

Unless you have $50 million, a live-in nannie, a personal trainer, time to burn and an air brush, who can compete with that? Our culture’s objectification of women is to be loathed, but thankfully, Scripture gives us a better option. So what will I tell my daughter? This:
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Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)

October 25, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, God, monsters, Parents, scared

It was a quiet evening at our house one spring evening when a voice of terror rang out from my 3-year-old son’s room.

“Daaaaaad!” he shouted, begging me to come.

I walked toward his door to investigate, assuming he either wanted covering up or needed a drink of water.

On this night, though, he had something else on his mind.

“I’m scared of the monster,” he said, with an innocent look in his eyes and fear on his face.

For once, I was speechless. No one in our house watches scary movies or shows, and we don’t even read scary books.

The “scariest” story he had ever heard likely was David vs. Goliath.

But he had seen a few cartoonish toddler-friendly “monsters” on TV, and his mind was swirling with creepy thoughts.

Of course, he was and is not alone in being afraid of imaginary objects in the dark—and it’s not just kids who are like that.

We seem to be hard-wired to be uneasy at night. Why? It’s the fear of the unknown and the mysterious. During the day, we easily could open the curtain and see that a tree branch is scraping the window. But at night? We can’t see what’s outside—and we’re certainly not going outside to explore. And so our imagination runs wild, often chasing the most frightening thought we can conjure.

I could have told him that “there are no monsters,” but that’s only half true. The real-world “monsters”—Satan and his demons—wreak more havoc than any on-screen monster ever will.

As it turns out, what I did tell my son—at least, most of what I said—is what I tell myself when I’m afraid. It’s quite simple: Continue reading →

3 ways to raise modest kids (in an immodest world)

August 13, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged beauty, Bible, Children, Christ, clothes, girls, God, modesty, Parents

I’m not sure when parents began debating the so-called “sheltering” of children, but I’m pretty sure the conversation became far more significant when television was invented—that is, when we allowed culture to invade our lives.

I tend to fall into the let’s-shelter-our-kids camp—at least for youngsters—but I’ve come to a simple conclusion: It’s impossible. For instance …

My 3-year-old daughter and I recently were sitting at the newest restaurant in town, sharing a Reuben sandwich and a plate of fries while coloring our favorite animals, when her eyes caught the image on one of the overhanging TV sets.

“Daddy, she’s naked!”

I took a quick look at the television to see what she was referencing—it was, if you’re curious, “Entertainment Tonight”—and then told her in a reassuring voice, “You’re right. We need to pray that woman finds some clothes.”

Legally and technically, my daughter was wrong: The woman, a model, wasn’t naked. But biblically and practically? My daughter was right on the mark. And I was proud of her.

God clothed Adam and Eve with animal skin in the garden (Genesis 3:21), but ever since, Calvin Klein and Abercrombie & Fitch and every other designer and store have been trying to remove it, inch by inch. Their creations in ritzy New York studios create a domino effect: sold in stores, bought by teens, and then returned by parents. But it’s not just Christian families who have weekly “you’re not going out like that!” arguments. This issue crosses ideological and cultural boundaries.

Scripture says we are to kill desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:24) but immodesty does just the opposite, bringing it back to life and encouraging its captives to strut around like a boastful half-naked peacock.

Of course, we shouldn’t simply blame fashion designers for this problem. Their clothes wouldn’t have gone over well with, say, the Pilgrims or even Colonial Americans. We as a society buy those clothes, and this issue often is a matter of the heart.

Still, there are practical steps parents can take to raise modest children in an immodest world. Here are three:
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