3 reasons to say ‘I love you’ when disciplining your child

3 reasons to say ‘I love you’ when disciplining your childFor some reason, I don’t remember the specifics about the first time I disciplined my firstborn. I only remember hating it.

I’m sure I’m not the only parent who felt that way. Disciplining a child – giving them a stern lecture, taking away their favorite toy, or putting them in timeout, all while they cry – is never fun.

It is, though, bound up in love. As parents we discipline our children because we want a peaceful home, yes, but also because we want them to learn to obey higher authority, and ultimately to obey God (Hebrews 12:5-9).

To fail to discipline is to fail to love. A child without discipline is a child possibly on the path to failure, to lifelong rebellion.

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5 lessons from Proverbs that will make you a better parent

5 lessons from Proverbs that will make you a better parentFor most of my life I’ve thought of the book of Proverbs as a collection of “moral nuggets” – a buffet of sorts that has a verse for just about any situation in life.

Proverbs certainly has plenty of wisdom in it, but lately I’ve been looking at its overarching themes. That is, the “lesson behind the lessons.”

Moms and dads can learn a lot from Proverbs. Here are five themes that stick out to me:

1. Be a parent and not a “buddy” or “friend.” That is, a parent has God-given authority over their kids, a role that comes with enormous but wonderful responsibilities. The writer of Proverbs, Solomon, makes this obvious from the start: “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Think about your best friends in high school. Did you ever give them “instruction” or “teach” them anything? No, you just had fun. Of course, I have lots of fun with my children. We laugh all the time. But even though I playfully call my two sons my “buddy,” my role is to be their father. Continue reading

‘Can I help?’: 5 reasons to say ‘yes’ when children want to help with chores

'Can I help?': 5 reasons to say 'yes' when children want to help with chores

Some of the most frustrating moments in my life have involved household jobs that required far more time than I initially envisioned. Fixing that stopped-up sink. Painting the room. Changing that broken ceiling fan chain switch. I consistently underestimate how long it will take.

Now that I have three young children, I have trouble finding time to do those chores – and when I do try to do particular household jobs during daytime hours, my oldest son, who is 5, wants to help.

Parents always face a dilemma when a young child wants to tag along and “help” with work. The time it takes to accomplish the chore easily could double or triple with a kid in the picture. Will the child truly help – or simply break something else along the way? Shouldn’t I just get my spouse to keep him or her away?

Lately, though, I’ve tried to allow my son to help me more with jobs and tasks, and I’ve discovered we’ve both enjoyed it.

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Bad idea: Kids’ football league issues $200 fine if score gets out of hand

Bad idea: Kids' football league issues $200 fine if score gets out of handIf your child is playing in a football league and the other team is winning big, do you want the opposing players to lay down and let your kid’s team score? What about fining the other team $200 if the opposing coach does not cooperate?

That’s exactly what’s happening in the Northern California Federation Youth Football League, where a league for children 7 to 13 year olds is now suspending the coach for one week and handing the team a $200 fine it wins by 35 points or more. It’s called the “mercy rule.” The league’s deputy commissioner says the rule teaches compassion and sportsmanship.

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5 ways parenting makes us less selfish – and why I’m thankful for the lesson

5 ways parenting makes us less selfish – and why I’m thankful for the lessonRemember those times in elementary school when you wanted that yummy pie on your friend’s plate?

“You gonna eat that?” you might say, putting your finger smack-dab in the middle of it.

“Well, not anymore,” they’d reply.

Or maybe you were on the receiving end of such silly antics, frustrated at your friend’s selfishness. Of course, very few of us looked at that delicious pie and wanted to give it to someone. No way. That was our pie.

I remember those days very well. I also remember the day, about four years ago, when I was eating dinner and had some food on my plate that was seconds away from being devoured. But my first child, my then-1-year-old son, had been eyeing it, and he wanted it, too. You see, there were no leftovers on the table. If I ate it, he would not get any more food. But if he ate it, I would not get any more.

What do you think I did? I gave it to him, without hesitation.

Throughout Scripture, God commands us to avoid selfishness, and for good reason; we all struggle with it. Paul tells us to do “nothing from selfish ambition” (Philippians 2:3). Peter tells us to humble ourselves (1 Peter 5:6). Jesus Himself tells us to deny ourselves and follow Him (Matthew 16:24). But it’s hard, isn’t it?

Nothing wipes selfishness out of your life like parenting. I didn’t think I was a selfish person as a bachelor, but in hindsight, I probably was. And I still am – we all are, to some degree — but I’m further along in my goal of selflessness than I was.

I’m thankful for what God’s taught me about selfishness. Here are 5 specific lessons I’ve learned:

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