Why you should let your child win (some) in 1-on-1 games

March 10, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Bible, Children, games, God, let them win, let win, life, life lessons, Parents, sports

My biggest hobbies as a teenager were, in order: football, basketball, baseball, hockey … and any other sport that was stuffed in the local sports page. I was a sports nut, and my family didn’t even have ESPN.

On Wednesday nights at church, my friends and I would gather on the parking lot for the fiercest pickup basketball game you’ve ever seen from uncoordinated skinny kids. On Sunday afternoons, you could find us playing touch football in the church yard, with me often being selected as what we’d call the “all-time quarterback.” During the rest of my free time, I was playing my mom and dad in one sport or another, determined to beat them, too.

Fast forward to today.

My oldest son, who is 6, is at the age where he wants to beat dad each time we play anything: board games and sports … even tag. That, of course, raises the question every parent confronts: Should I intentionally let my child win—or should I just mercilessly beat him at each contest?

It seems at first a trivial and pointless question, but it’s not. Remember that old coach who always told you that “sports teaches valuable lessons about life”? He may not have known it, but he was borrowing a scriptural theme.

The Apostle Paul—who no doubt would have watched a little bit of ESPN—compares the spiritual walk to a runner in a race eyeing the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24-25). He further notes that “every athlete exercises self-control in all things”—implying that the Christian, too, should practice self-control in day-to-day living. It’s not the only reference to sports in Scripture (see, for example, 2 Timothy 2:5 and Hebrews 12:1).

God, it seems, does see value in sports. After all, it can be a microcosm of life, and children can begin learning valuable “adult lessons” long before they’re able to apply them in the adult world. We win and lose in sports, just like in life. We learn to be disciplined and patient, to practice self-control, to be a leader, to listen to those in authority, to be responsible, to bounce back, to get up when we don’t want to, to get along with those we normally wouldn’t like, to encourage, and to share. Everything translates to life.
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5 New Year’s resolutions for a more Christ-centered family

January 9, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Bible, child, Children, God, new year, new year's resolution, parenting

My first New Year’s resolution took place as a young adult, when I pledged to read the Bible—from Genesis to Revelation—in one year. I remember enjoying Genesis and Exodus, struggling a bit with Leviticus and Numbers, and then getting bogged down in Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy at the time was like quick sand, and I never made it out.

I since have made it through Deuteronomy, but I’m still mostly a failure at New Year’s resolutions. For instance, my 2014 New Year’s resolution was to plant garlic. It’s unique and incredibly healthy, and it would save my family a bit of money. But I never even purchased a bulb.

Still, New Year’s resolutions are worth pursuing, especially when it involves something as significant as your faith or your family. While resolutions themselves aren’t mentioned in Scripture, the Bible does have a lot to say about second chances and new beginnings (Psalm 51:10-11).

I imagine even the Apostle Paul would have made New Year’s resolutions. After all, it was never-look-back Paul who wrote, “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-15).

So what type of resolutions should parents make this year? Here are five suggestions that—if followed—are sure to change your family life for the better:
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9 chaos-free steps for taking your child to any sporting event

October 22, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, families, family, football, kids, Parents, sporting events, sports

Generally, when I’m at football games and enthralled by the on-field action, I ignore comments by the inebriated fans.

But one remark caught my attention recently.

“I’ve been to 100 games here, and I just want you to know that what you’re doing is great,” the man told me. He was in his 20s and wasn’t slurring his speech, but he obviously had had a few “extra ones” outside the stadium.

I suppose my two young sons and I stood out, even in the midst of an 80,000 seat college football stadium. My 2-year-old was sitting in my lap and my 6-year-old son was sitting beside me, and both were behaving remarkably well — great news because I was doing this solo. I had thought a “boys’ day” would be fun and challenging, and I wanted my wife to enjoy time alone with our daughter.

So what would possess a grown man to take two young boys to such a crowded, busy, loud event? Simply the fact that I enjoy college football and thought my sons would, too. And they did.

We got in the car that morning at 5:50 for an 11 o’clock game, and everything – from the weather to the game to the post-game events – went splendid. There were no meltdowns or tantrums.

Maybe God just blessed me with a marvelous time that day, and perhaps next time it will be disastrous, but there are at least nine things I did right that I’ll try again. If you’re a sports fan wanting to take your child to a major sporting event, here are a few tips: Continue reading →

4 tricks to making every child in a large family feel special

September 29, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, Christ, families, God, kids, large family, Parents

There’s a humorous but wise adage that many parents who are having their third child eventually hear: “Man-to-man defense no longer applies. You’ll have to switch to a zone.”

The meaning in a nutshell? The kids now outnumber the parents.

I had heard friends talk about the blessings and challenges of a larger family but didn’t fully understand it until my wife and I added twins to our “bunch,” which automatically bumped our small family of three to a “large” family of five – thereby putting us at that out-of-the-way corner booth in all the restaurants. No longer would we fit at 95 percent of the restaurant tables or 99 percent of the hotel rooms.

That also meant it was not possible for each child to be held, for each kid to receive individual attention, for each child to sit in a lap. I’ve always been one who wants to see needs met, so it was a major adjustment. After all, I physically couldn’t read a story to my twins and ride bike with my oldest son at the same time – even though I wanted to do both. (It did, though, put me in awe of God more, because He
can comfort the little boy in China and the little girl in America simultaneously.)

So can a mother and father of multiple kids still make each one feel special? Yes. Here are four suggestions:
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‘Dad, what does it mean to glorify God?’ — 3 ways to help your child understand life’s purpose

August 12, 2014 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, glorify god, glory, God, Jesus, Parents, teaching children

Before they were 2, my children could answer the first question of the catechism – “Who made you?” – by pointing skyward and shouting in their respective sweet voices, “God!”

Soon they also were learning why God created them. My daughter had just celebrated her second birthday when she would respond to “why did God make you?” with an excited and precious “goalie!” – her best effort at “for His glory.”

Of course, she doesn’t know what that means, but many adults don’t, either.

The theme of God’s glory is spread throughout Scripture, but we too often walk away puzzled. And that, in turn, makes it difficult to explain the concept to our inquisitive children as they grow older.

One of my favorite verses is 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” Sounds great, but what specifically does that mean? How do we glorify God in everything?

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word “glory” carries the idea of “greatness” and “splendor.” In the New Testament Greek it means “dignity,” “honor,” “praise” and “worship.” [1]

So, yes, to glorify God means to praise and worship Him, but we can’t stop there. That verse in 1 Corinthians tells us to glorify God in everything we do. But how? The answer’s actually quite simple, and we can draw a parallel to the relationship between a parent and child. How does a child please his or her parents? By loving them and obeying them. And that’s how many kids’ catechisms explain this difficult question: We glorify God by “loving him and doing what He commands” throughout the day.

We glorify God when we sing to Him and pray to Him and read His Word, but we also glorify God when we do what He tells us to do and when we love Him – in “whatever” we’re doing, as 1 Corinthians 10:31 says. John Piper defines glorifying God by saying it’s when we feel, think and act in ways that reflect His greatness, that make much of Him. We glorify God when we do that which we were created to do. Children’s author Sally Lloyd-Jones summed all that up by saying it’s when we “make a big deal” of God. I like that definition. It’s simple … and biblical.

How, then, are we to explain this to small children, without pulling out the theology book and putting them to sleep? My suggestion: Explain God to them in such a way that their only response is to praise, worship and glorify God. Here are three ideas:

1. Make a big deal about God’s splendor. Begin with creation, to which kids are naturally drawn. Teach your children that God made everything, that God owns everything, and that God is bigger than anything. At an early age tell them (excitedly) all the amazing things that God made – the animals, the trees, the oceans, the stars – and then as they grow older help them understand the infinite size of God. But keep it on their level. When my oldest son was about 4, I naively told him that God was bigger than the earth, the sun and the universe, when he turned to me and asked innocently, “Is God bigger than a mountain?” To him, a mountain was the biggest thing anywhere and to him, the universe’s size meant nothing. Now 6, he’s amazed that God knows the number of stars in the sky and grains of sand on the beach and hairs on his head. Additionally, teach your kids that God owns everything, too – their house, their room, their toys – and that they’re merely tenants. Soon, they’ll see that this God must be a big deal.

2. Make a big deal about God’s holiness. It may seem challenging to teach kids about this concept, but it’s really not. Begin by teaching that Jesus never sinned – even as a child. I tell my children that Jesus as a boy never disobeyed His parents, that Jesus loved even the boys and girls who were mean to Him, and that Jesus never lied. Of course, the Bible is largely silent about Jesus’ childhood, but we’re not stretching Scripture by making these basic points. After all, we know He was a child at one point, that He never sinned, that He had parents, and that all children play with other children. My oldest son still finds it amazing that the boy Jesus never sinned. Stories like these are a great stepping stone to discussing a larger concept: God is pure and holy and hates sin.

3. Make a big deal about God’s love. Discuss regularly with your child all the ways God loves you and has blessed you, even when life is difficult. He gave you food and clothes and a place to live and (perhaps even) good health. That’s a lot on its own – and those are just the things we take for granted. I’ll often remind my kids that children in some parts of the world don’t have any toys, much less a batch for virtually each season. Of course, the central story in teaching about God’s love is the Gospel: That God the Father sent His Son to the earth to die on the cross for our sins, that Christ took the punishment we deserve, and that He rose from the grave. Tell them with a big smile that God loves them more than anyone does – that He loves us even when we sin, that he doesn’t give up on us, and that He’s constantly pursuing us. That’s an amazing kind of love — a wonderful love that should lead us, and our children, to glorify God.

[1] GotQuestion.org

Michael Foust is an editor and writer who blogs about parenting and fatherhood. He loves his family and also really likes stove top popcorn. Interested in re-posting this in your publication or on your blog for free? Send me a message in the comments section below (the message won’t go public). Also, check out my video section.