Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)

Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)It was a quiet evening at our house one spring evening when a voice of terror rang out from my 3-year-old son’s room.

“Daaaaaad!” he shouted, begging me to come.

I walked toward his door to investigate, assuming he either wanted covering up or needed a drink of water.

On this night, though, he had something else on his mind.

“I’m scared of the monster,” he said, with an innocent look in his eyes and fear on his face.

For once, I was speechless. No one in our house watches scary movies or shows, and we don’t even read scary books.

The “scariest” story he had ever heard likely was David vs. Goliath.

But he had seen a few cartoonish toddler-friendly “monsters” on TV, and his mind was swirling with creepy thoughts.

Of course, he was and is not alone in being afraid of imaginary objects in the dark—and it’s not just kids who are like that.

We seem to be hard-wired to be uneasy at night. Why? It’s the fear of the unknown and the mysterious. During the day, we easily could open the curtain and see that a tree branch is scraping the window. But at night? We can’t see what’s outside—and we’re certainly not going outside to explore. And so our imagination runs wild, often chasing the most frightening thought we can conjure.

I could have told him that “there are no monsters,” but that’s only half true. The real-world “monsters”—Satan and his demons—wreak more havoc than any on-screen monster ever will.

As it turns out, what I did tell my son—at least, most of what I said—is what I tell myself when I’m afraid. It’s quite simple: Continue reading

Will I love my biological child as much as my adopted ones?


Will I love my biological child as much as my adopted ones?The bright computer monitor in the hospital delivery room read 151, then 155, then 153. My wife and I traded smiles. It was my unborn son’s heart rate, and the reading was—the nurse said—perfect. The sound, though, was what put a tear in my eye.

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump it rapidly went, telling anyone who knew our background: God is amazing … and He has a sense of humor.

We had decided to call him “Isaac,” simply because we, like Abraham and Sarah and their own son by that name, literally laughed when we learned my wife was pregnant. That’s what you do when you become pregnant in your 40s, seven years after adopting your first child and three years after adopting twins. It’s what you do when you learn you’re pregnant 10 years after visiting a fertility doctor, crying and wondering what the future holds. It’s also what you do when you become pregnant after you give away your baby carrier, your baby toys and all your baby clothes.

It’s not the path I would have chosen but, in hindsight, I would not change a thing.

Many couples struggling with infertility—like we did—look at their options and contemplate a question they’d rather not voice publicly: Can I love an adopted child as much as a biological one?

But before Isaac was born this summer, I confronted a very different question: Can I love a biological child as much as my adopted ones?
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3 awe-inspiring, life-changing lessons from a simple ultrasound

3 awe-inspiring, life-changing lessons from a simple ultrasoundGrowing up, you often look forward to that series of “firsts” — your first car and first date, and then your first job and first child.

Your first ultrasound, though, probably isn’t on the list. But perhaps it should be. I’m thinking about that now because of what I witnessed the other day, an experience that can only be described as life-changing.

I had seen hundreds of ultrasound images during my short life, but nothing like these.

These were pictures of my son – a tiny baby I have yet to hold or kiss or hug, but a son who I already love just as much as my other three children. There, on the screen, were his eyes, his nose, his fingers, his toes. There was his hair – his hair! And there was his little heart, pumping so fast that I could barely count the beats. On this day he was quite active in the womb, and we enjoyed the show as he seemingly did his best to hide from the nurse. He squirmed and kicked, rolled from side to side, and even opened and closed his mouth. I smiled in wonder and amazement … and then cried tears of joy.

Minutes later I walked out of the doctor’s office with a new perspective on life … and with a sense of bewilderment about the never-ending debate over abortion.

You see, this was our very first ultrasound as a couple. Our first three children were adopted, and although we saw all of them immediately after birth, we never saw them live, in the womb.

Historians often debate the greatest technological advancements of the past century, and I’ve got to wonder if ultrasounds shouldn’t be near the top.

Simply put, I now understood why pro-choice leaders oppose the technology at every turn.

It all reminds me of that iconic scene at the end of the original Wizard Of Oz, the one where Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion finally make it back to Emerald City to meet the Wizard, an intimidating green monster-looking thing who shouts at everyone in a terrifying, booming voice. He even lives amidst fire and smoke.
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3 ways to raise modest kids (in an immodest world)

3 ways to raise modest kids (in an immodest world)I’m not sure when parents began debating the so-called “sheltering” of children, but I’m pretty sure the conversation became far more significant when television was invented—that is, when we allowed culture to invade our lives.

I tend to fall into the let’s-shelter-our-kids camp—at least for youngsters—but I’ve come to a simple conclusion: It’s impossible. For instance …

My 3-year-old daughter and I recently were sitting at the newest restaurant in town, sharing a Reuben sandwich and a plate of fries while coloring our favorite animals, when her eyes caught the image on one of the overhanging TV sets.

“Daddy, she’s naked!”

I took a quick look at the television to see what she was referencing—it was, if you’re curious, “Entertainment Tonight”—and then told her in a reassuring voice, “You’re right. We need to pray that woman finds some clothes.”

Legally and technically, my daughter was wrong: The woman, a model, wasn’t naked. But biblically and practically? My daughter was right on the mark. And I was proud of her.

God clothed Adam and Eve with animal skin in the garden (Genesis 3:21), but ever since, Calvin Klein and Abercrombie & Fitch and every other designer and store have been trying to remove it, inch by inch. Their creations in ritzy New York studios create a domino effect: sold in stores, bought by teens, and then returned by parents. But it’s not just Christian families who have weekly “you’re not going out like that!” arguments. This issue crosses ideological and cultural boundaries.

Scripture says we are to kill desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:24) but immodesty does just the opposite, bringing it back to life and encouraging its captives to strut around like a boastful half-naked peacock.

Of course, we shouldn’t simply blame fashion designers for this problem. Their clothes wouldn’t have gone over well with, say, the Pilgrims or even Colonial Americans. We as a society buy those clothes, and this issue often is a matter of the heart.

Still, there are practical steps parents can take to raise modest children in an immodest world. Here are three:
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‘Dad, who is Satan?’

'Dad, who is Satan?'Teaching kids the basics about God can be easy—at least compared to other subjects.

For instance, even a young toddler quickly can learn the answer to “Who made you?” And after that, they just as easily can learn the answer to two related questions: “What else did God make?” (Everything.) “Why did God make you?” (For His glory.)

But if you raise children to think biblically and even theologically, pretty soon they’ll toss a curve ball your way and you’ll be left speechless, not sure how to respond in simple, kid-level language.

“Dad, who is Satan?” my 3-year-old son asked a few weeks back.

I know the “adult answer.” But the “kid-level answer”? I was speechless.

No doubt, my son knew Satan was bad—his books and DVDs certainly implied that—but that only got him so far. That’s because we’ve taught him that a lot of people in the world are bad and that there are “mean people” who would harm him. Satan, though, is far, far worse than your everyday “bad” person. And he’s technically not even a person. So what do you say?

My first answer? “He’s the embodiment of evil.” Thankfully, my wife intervened and gave me some tips—well before I confused my son. And then I read my favorite theological resource (Wayne Grudem’s “Systematic Theology”), added some verses, and boiled it down to four points to share with my son:
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