4 (more) New Year’s resolutions for a more Christ-centered family

January 10, 2016 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, God, new year, new year's resolution, Parents

My youngest son was born six months ago this month. During that time he has learned to hold his head up, grab toys, roll over, and — my favorite — smile.

It’s been an incredible short journey, but it certainly doesn’t seem like he was born six months ago. In fact, it seems more like five minutes.

A friend warned me years ago that when you have children, time accelerates. It’s as if “Back to the Future’s” Marty McFly and Doc Brown are in charge of your life, driving you from year to year in their magical DeLorean—all with the power of that much-needed flux capacitor.

But we don’t need to depend on Hollywood movies to understand and appreciate the brevity of time. God warned us long ago that our lives are like a “mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). The Bible’s point isn’t to depress us but to give us a sense of urgency—to encourage us to treat each day as if it could be our last. Life, after all, is a gift, and we should live with a spotlight on eternity (Hebrews 13:14).

But with so many distractions in our day-to-day lives, how do we stay focused? Here’s one way: Make meaningful New Year’s resolutions. Last year I listed five resolutions on this blog: Each day vow to read the Bible with your child; get home from work earlier; say more positive words around your child; spend less time on your smartphone and love your spouse more in front of your children). This year, I’m listing a few more—for me and perhaps for you, too.

If you’re looking for a few resolutions for 2016, consider these:

1. Pray for your kids. I’m not referencing the weekly or monthly “dear-God-please bless-my-child” prayer. I’m talking about pleading with God each day—and even throughout the day—for your kids. Yes, pray for their health, their grades and their relationships, but also pray for their future. Do you want them to have a great career? Marry a godly spouse? Give you wonderful grandchildren? Then pray for it. The Bible says there are blessings from God we don’t receive because we don’t ask (James 4:3). That’s convicting, isn’t it?
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Is ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ suitable for young kids? (Here’s your spoiler-free answer)

December 18, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Christ, force awakens, God, kids, movie, Parents, star wars

I was five when the first “Star Wars” movie was released, eight when “The Empire Strikes Back” came out, and 11 when “Return of the Jedi” hit theaters. My parents let me watch those latter two films on the big screen, but kept me home for the first one.

Now, some three decades later, I am asking myself the question a lot of parents this month are raising: Should I take my children to see the newest film in the franchise, “The Force Awakens”? And … will they have nightmares for a year if I do let them go?

If you want the spoiler-free answer – or at least this traditional parent’s take on it – then keep reading.

I watched “The Force Awakens” with a critical eye on opening day, and after talking with a few other parents in the theater lobby, came to this conclusion: I would not take a 3- or 4-year-old kid to see it. I might take a 7-year-old to watch it. I would take a 10-year-old to see it – that is, if the kid is discerning.

My oldest children are 7 and 3 (nearly 4). I know this film would terrify my almost-4-year-old son, and there are a few scenes that potentially could give my 7-year-old son some bad dreams. But I am considering taking him to it, with the understanding that I need to shield his eyes in at least two specific scenes (both involving Kylo Ren).

Of course, every child is different, and you may have a 6-year-old who is mature enough to view it with no problem.

But it is rated PG-13 for a reason. Comparing its violence and “scary” content to the other films, it is less violent and less scary than “Revenge of the Sith” (PG-13) and at least as violent and scary as “Return of the Jedi” (PG, but likely would have garnered a PG-13 if that rating had existed). If your child handled “Return of the Jedi” with no problem – even the spooky Emperor-Luke-Darth battle at the end – then you’re probably fine. But if not, then you may want to keep the kids home. “The Force Awakens” is more violent and more scary than the first “Star Wars” film and “The Empire Strikes Back.”
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3 things to teach your daughter about true beauty

November 11, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents & media usage, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged beauty, Bible, daughter, God, Parents, princess, true beauty

My daughter Maggie is only 3 but she already knows what she wants to be when she grows up.

A princess.

But not just any princess. She wants to be a beautiful princess. And preferably, one who wears pink dresses. And does ballet.

Three years ago, I despised the princess craze. Why would I—I thought at the time—want my daughter to chase after an unattainable physical beauty that only resides in fantasies and Hollywood-style Disney movies?

But here I am, three years later, with a daughter who wants nothing more than to be pretty and to wear nail polish, and who wakes up every morning wanting to don the latest princess fashion.

How did I get here? Believe me, I didn’t promote it.

As much as I’d love to blame Disney, I really can’t. If I did that, then I might as well blame the football manufacturer who designed the kiddie pigskin her twin brother recently used to break a light bulb. Just as he is naturally attracted to physical activity, she has a natural yearning to be physically beautiful. And that latter concept terrifies me.

It scares me to think about my daughter growing up in a culture where a simple trip to the grocery store can turn into a fleshly battle, with society screaming at every turn: “You’re not beautiful enough!” There, on the billboard, is the perfect-looking Hollywood star, telling anyone who happens to look: “This is what you should look like.” And there, on the cover of the checkout-line magazine, is that same woman, only this time she’s lost half of her clothes and is promoting a “secret” diet and exercise routine that helped her lose all of that baby weight and get back down to 98 pounds!

Unless you have $50 million, a live-in nannie, a personal trainer, time to burn and an air brush, who can compete with that? Our culture’s objectification of women is to be loathed, but thankfully, Scripture gives us a better option. So what will I tell my daughter? This:
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Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)

October 25, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged Children, God, monsters, Parents, scared

It was a quiet evening at our house one spring evening when a voice of terror rang out from my 3-year-old son’s room.

“Daaaaaad!” he shouted, begging me to come.

I walked toward his door to investigate, assuming he either wanted covering up or needed a drink of water.

On this night, though, he had something else on his mind.

“I’m scared of the monster,” he said, with an innocent look in his eyes and fear on his face.

For once, I was speechless. No one in our house watches scary movies or shows, and we don’t even read scary books.

The “scariest” story he had ever heard likely was David vs. Goliath.

But he had seen a few cartoonish toddler-friendly “monsters” on TV, and his mind was swirling with creepy thoughts.

Of course, he was and is not alone in being afraid of imaginary objects in the dark—and it’s not just kids who are like that.

We seem to be hard-wired to be uneasy at night. Why? It’s the fear of the unknown and the mysterious. During the day, we easily could open the curtain and see that a tree branch is scraping the window. But at night? We can’t see what’s outside—and we’re certainly not going outside to explore. And so our imagination runs wild, often chasing the most frightening thought we can conjure.

I could have told him that “there are no monsters,” but that’s only half true. The real-world “monsters”—Satan and his demons—wreak more havoc than any on-screen monster ever will.

As it turns out, what I did tell my son—at least, most of what I said—is what I tell myself when I’m afraid. It’s quite simple: Continue reading →

Will I love my biological child as much as my adopted ones?

September 7, 2015 | Michael Foust | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged adoption, Bible, biological children, God

The bright computer monitor in the hospital delivery room read 151, then 155, then 153. My wife and I traded smiles. It was my unborn son’s heart rate, and the reading was—the nurse said—perfect. The sound, though, was what put a tear in my eye.

Tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump, tha-thump it rapidly went, telling anyone who knew our background: God is amazing … and He has a sense of humor.

We had decided to call him “Isaac,” simply because we, like Abraham and Sarah and their own son by that name, literally laughed when we learned my wife was pregnant. That’s what you do when you become pregnant in your 40s, seven years after adopting your first child and three years after adopting twins. It’s what you do when you learn you’re pregnant 10 years after visiting a fertility doctor, crying and wondering what the future holds. It’s also what you do when you become pregnant after you give away your baby carrier, your baby toys and all your baby clothes.

It’s not the path I would have chosen but, in hindsight, I would not change a thing.

Many couples struggling with infertility—like we did—look at their options and contemplate a question they’d rather not voice publicly: Can I love an adopted child as much as a biological one?

But before Isaac was born this summer, I confronted a very different question: Can I love a biological child as much as my adopted ones?
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