Author Archives: Michael Foust

6 reasons our society still needs dads

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , ,

6 reasons our society still needs dadsThere’s a river about half a mile from my house that my 7-year-old son and I enjoy. We hunt for fossils, skip rocks off the water, and watch boats speed along. Every now and then, we even catch a beautiful sunset.

It’s a perfect father-son destination and brings back memories of that opening tranquil scene in “The Andy Griffith Show”— minus the whistling, of course. But on one recent afternoon, my son did something that could have been set in fictitious Mayberry.

He picked up a stick and was writing in the sand, shielding his creation from my eyes.

“Don’t look,” he demanded.

A few seconds later, he asked me to turn around.

“I love Daddy,” it read.

It was one of those “awww” moments that every parent has, the kind you want to bottle. But on this night—after he went to bed—I began thinking not about him or me but about our society. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, one-third of all children in America live in a home without their biological father. Meanwhile, we are in the midst of a great cultural debate over whether children need both a mother and a father.

No doubt, there are heroic single mothers who do an amazing job and overcome obstacles every hour of every day, but what is the ideal?

Fathers, it turns out, are still needed, despite what culture may say. Why would God require both genders to make a child, but not to raise the child? Yes, God has gifted moms and dads in unique and complementary ways.

With a hat tip to sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox’s excellent research for points 4 to 6, let’s look at why kids still need dads:
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3 simple and easy ways to teach your kids to pray

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , , , ,

3 simple and easy ways to teach your kids to prayChildren were a focus of Jesus’ ministry. He used the loaves and fish from a boy to feed the 5,000. He healed at least one sick child and raised another one from the dead. He told his followers to have the humility of a child. He even took children into his arms and blessed them when his disciples wanted to send them away.

I think about Jesus’ view of children often when my three children pray some of the most heartfelt, inspiring and even entertaining prayers I’ll ever hear.

Consider, for example, my oldest son’s prayers when he was 3.

When I told him we should thank God for everything in life, he took it seriously, even providing God plenty of detail.

“God, thank you for my train table and those two plates on the wall that are next to the smoke alarm,” he said one night while lying in bed, describing two colorful ceramic birthday plates that, yes, were right next to the smoke detector in his bedroom.

On other nights, he felt a bit more academic.

“God, thank you for the letter B, the letter D, and the number 3.”

And on some nights, he was feeling a bit theological.

“God, thank you for crushing Satan’s power,” he said, quoting, verbatim, what he had read in one of his storybook Bibles.

But there are plenty of times in which my children refuse to pray—when we go around the table at suppertime, finding no volunteers. Just like me, and perhaps you, too, they can be stubborn when facing spiritual matters. If we want our children to pray, we ourselves must first believe in the power of prayer (James 4:2-3)—and then set the example.

Here are three specific ways to do that:
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3 lessons for life when your child doesn’t catch the foul ball

| | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , , ,

3 lessons for life when your child doesn’t catch the foul ballThere’s an old saying among sports aficionados that I’m just now learning to appreciate: Baseball is the ultimate father-son game.

It can’t be practiced solo, as can basketball, and unlike football, it requires that every member of a team know how to catch and throw.

So when my two young sons (ages 7 and 3) want to play baseball, they need me. It’s how most players – great and not-so-great – get their start: a father and son playing catch in the backyard.

But I don’t want them simply to play baseball in our yard, as fun as that can be. No, I also want them to watch a baseball game, in person, and to learn from players who are much better than them – and me. And I want them to appreciate everything that is unique about baseball: the peanuts, the slow pace, the quirky rules, the seventh-inning stretch.

Oh yeah, and the foul balls. No other sport lets you actually keep a ball that lands in the stands.

Which brings me to my most recent expedition to the minor-league park with my two sons, whose sole goal when going to a game is to walk away with free treasure. It’s a small park with only a few hundred fans and even fewer kids, making the odds of actually getting a ball pretty good.

Our baseball trip on this night had been wonderful. We ate cotton candy and popcorn, played in the playground, sat along the third-base line and then on the outfield grass, and even had a close encounter with the crazy mascot. But foul balls? On this night, they were few and far between.

And so we decided to leave during the sixth inning and get the boys in bed … when the unthinkable happened. While we were walking through the exit to the parking lot, a foul ball sailed back over the stands and landed about seven feet directly in front of me. I was about to sprint toward it when it took a big hop, and then another hop, and then a smaller hop before landing at the feet of a mom, who picked it up and gave it to her young son. My two boys were disappointed, believing that ball should have been theirs. They were this close to getting a ball – and to having a baseball story to tell all of their friends.
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4 keys to raising selfless kids

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , , , ,

4 keys to raising selfless kidsMy youngest son is 3 years old, and he, like all of us, struggles to put others first. His selfish moments, though, tend to be louder—and at the same time, funnier.

For example, there was the moment a few months ago when he was having an extra-difficult time playing with his twin sister. My wife had taught him to treat girls with respect and kindness, and even had taught him to be a “gentleman”—a word that I reminded him of that afternoon when he and his sister were fighting over a toy.

“But I don’t want to be a gentleman!” he screamed to no one in particular, tugging even harder at that toy, determined to get it back.

He was perfectly fine with the death of chivalry that afternoon, as long as he got his way.

Of course, it wasn’t the first time that he had exhibited a stubborn streak of selfishness, nor is he alone. His sister often is the instigator, and if not her, it’s her 7-year-old brother.

Young couples who deny the doctrine of original sin get a wake-up call when they have their first child. A baby’s first words often are, in order, “da-da” and “ma-ma,” followed quickly by “no!” and then “mine!”

Children aren’t taught to be selfish. It comes naturally—and then tugs at each of us every day throughout adulthood until we breathe our last breath.

We can teach our children to be unselfish while learning valuable lessons ourselves. Here are four ideas:
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Why you should let your child win (some) in 1-on-1 games

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Why you should let your child win (some) in 1-on-1 games

My biggest hobbies as a teenager were, in order: football, basketball, baseball, hockey … and any other sport that was stuffed in the local sports page. I was a sports nut, and my family didn’t even have ESPN.

On Wednesday nights at church, my friends and I would gather on the parking lot for the fiercest pickup basketball game you’ve ever seen from uncoordinated skinny kids. On Sunday afternoons, you could find us playing touch football in the church yard, with me often being selected as what we’d call the “all-time quarterback.” During the rest of my free time, I was playing my mom and dad in one sport or another, determined to beat them, too.

Fast forward to today.

My oldest son, who is 6, is at the age where he wants to beat dad each time we play anything: board games and sports … even tag. That, of course, raises the question every parent confronts: Should I intentionally let my child win—or should I just mercilessly beat him at each contest?

It seems at first a trivial and pointless question, but it’s not. Remember that old coach who always told you that “sports teaches valuable lessons about life”? He may not have known it, but he was borrowing a scriptural theme.

The Apostle Paul—who no doubt would have watched a little bit of ESPN—compares the spiritual walk to a runner in a race eyeing the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24-25). He further notes that “every athlete exercises self-control in all things”—implying that the Christian, too, should practice self-control in day-to-day living. It’s not the only reference to sports in Scripture (see, for example, 2 Timothy 2:5 and Hebrews 12:1).

God, it seems, does see value in sports. After all, it can be a microcosm of life, and children can begin learning valuable “adult lessons” long before they’re able to apply them in the adult world. We win and lose in sports, just like in life. We learn to be disciplined and patient, to practice self-control, to be a leader, to listen to those in authority, to be responsible, to bounce back, to get up when we don’t want to, to get along with those we normally wouldn’t like, to encourage, and to share. Everything translates to life.
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