Tag Archives: Children

6 secrets to ‘eating out’ — peacefully — with children

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , ,

6 secrets to ‘eating out’ -- peacefully -- with children

The first time my wife and I took our newborn to a restaurant, time seemingly stood still. Sweet elderly ladies “oohed” and “aahed” over our little bundle of joy. Waitresses stopped by our table to take a peek, amazed by his long eyelashes and quiet manner. Heck, even a few rough-looking grown men—the type you don’t want to cross—cracked a smile.

It was, in one word, “wonderful.”

Fast forward two years, and restaurant visits were no longer the highlight of our week. Yes, our son, Graham, was still precious, but instead of sleeping, he was randomly putting pepper shakers in his mouth. Instead of calmly drinking a bottle, he was stubbornly tossing macaroni on the floor, wondering why Mommy and Daddy were stressed and the people at the next table were laughing. Then there was the time when we ordered our food and he immediately began pitching a fit. Unable to calm him, we boxed up all of our food, hopped in the car and drove home.

Not every instance with our then-2-year-old son was taxing, but there were enough tough moments that we began evaluating what we could do better to make visits to restaurants more enjoyable.

My family views “eating out” much the way people viewed meals during Jesus’ life—as a time of leisurely fun and fellowship. We’re not there simply to eat. We’re there to talk and enjoy one another.

So, can a family of small children eat out regularly without chaos ensuing? Yes.

Here are a few tips that helped us … and may help you, too:
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3 ways to teach your kids about Easter, death and the cross

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , , , , ,

3 ways to teach your kids about Easter, death and the cross

My 4-year-old daughter Maggie has always been a bit studious for her age. She knew colors when she was 2, was reading the entire alphabet when she was 3, and by the time she turned 4, could read a digital clock.

So I was a bit surprised when my wife told me toward the end of last year that Maggie had failed a holiday pop quiz. The question from my wife was the same one that Charlie Brown shouted to all of his friends: What’s Christmas all about?

Maggie’s answer: “presents.”

I’m sure she said it in an oh-so-sweet voice, and I bet she even had an oh-so-precious smile on her face, but she also was oh-so-wrong. Christmas, my wife told her, is about Jesus—even if presents can be part of innocent holiday fun. By the end of the day Maggie had watched a cartoon about baby Jesus and had been read a book about baby Jesus, and it’s safe to say she went to bed that night knowing that Christmas wasn’t all about dolls, dollhouses and pretty pink necklaces.

Of course, it’s easy to teach children about Christmas, with its spotlight on a sweet tiny baby surrounded by animals and shepherds on a clear, starry night. It’s such a “sterile” and “clean” story that even non-Christians are attracted to its power.

But what do we do about Easter? Instead of a baby, we have a bruised and bloodied man. Instead of shepherds in worshipful awe, we have mocking, hate-filled onlookers. Instead of a stable, we have nails, a crown of thorns and a cross. And instead of a story about life, we apparently have a story about, well, death. How do we teach our children that?
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10 life-changing words to tell your kids every day

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , ,

10 life-changing words to tell your kids every dayMy 7-year-old son is like a lot of boys his age—energetic, jovial and somewhat loud.

He also has this peculiarity that is prominent among his peers: He pretends he doesn’t like to be praised.

“Great job, son!” I’ll tell him—to which he responds with a shrug of embarrassment or a stare of indifference.

But I know my words impact him—greatly.

One time he and I were having a candid father-son talk when I—unwisely—told him that the Bible says I should love his mom more than I love him. Oh, sure, it was a super-dumb thing to say, even though it had a biblical basis (Ephesians 5) and was factually true. But his 7-year-old heart wasn’t ready to process that, and he went to his room and sobbed. I nearly cried, too.

Sociologists have conducted dozens of studies demonstrating the power of words, but Scripture—more than 2,000 years ago—beat social science to the punch.

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body,” Proverbs 16:24 tells us.

If we were to analyze the thousands of words we say each day to our children, would they be mostly negative (“I can’t believe you did that!”) or positive (“let’s clean that up together”)? Our words, both good and bad, shape our children in the same manner the talented potter molds the unformed clay.

My wife and I have become intentional in recent months about using more positive words around our children, and we’ve seen our home become an even happier one. The results, though, aren’t always seen overnight. Just as honeycomb and other healthy foods don’t lead to instant good health, sometimes our words have to be sprinkled on our children each day and every week, until months later we see fruit—whether that is obeying better, treating their siblings and friends better, or even making better grades.
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4 (more) New Year’s resolutions for a more Christ-centered family

| | Posted in Parents of infants, Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , ,

4 (more) New Year’s resolutions for a more Christ-centered family My youngest son was born six months ago this month. During that time he has learned to hold his head up, grab toys, roll over, and — my favorite — smile.

It’s been an incredible short journey, but it certainly doesn’t seem like he was born six months ago. In fact, it seems more like five minutes.

A friend warned me years ago that when you have children, time accelerates. It’s as if “Back to the Future’s” Marty McFly and Doc Brown are in charge of your life, driving you from year to year in their magical DeLorean—all with the power of that much-needed flux capacitor.

But we don’t need to depend on Hollywood movies to understand and appreciate the brevity of time. God warned us long ago that our lives are like a “mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” (James 4:14). The Bible’s point isn’t to depress us but to give us a sense of urgency—to encourage us to treat each day as if it could be our last. Life, after all, is a gift, and we should live with a spotlight on eternity (Hebrews 13:14).

But with so many distractions in our day-to-day lives, how do we stay focused? Here’s one way: Make meaningful New Year’s resolutions. Last year I listed five resolutions on this blog: Each day vow to read the Bible with your child; get home from work earlier; say more positive words around your child; spend less time on your smartphone and love your spouse more in front of your children). This year, I’m listing a few more—for me and perhaps for you, too.

If you’re looking for a few resolutions for 2016, consider these:

1. Pray for your kids. I’m not referencing the weekly or monthly “dear-God-please bless-my-child” prayer. I’m talking about pleading with God each day—and even throughout the day—for your kids. Yes, pray for their health, their grades and their relationships, but also pray for their future. Do you want them to have a great career? Marry a godly spouse? Give you wonderful grandchildren? Then pray for it. The Bible says there are blessings from God we don’t receive because we don’t ask (James 4:3). That’s convicting, isn’t it?
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Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)

| | Posted in Parents of toddlers, Parents of young children | Tagged , , , ,

Dad, I’m scared of the monster! (3 things to tell your kid)It was a quiet evening at our house one spring evening when a voice of terror rang out from my 3-year-old son’s room.

“Daaaaaad!” he shouted, begging me to come.

I walked toward his door to investigate, assuming he either wanted covering up or needed a drink of water.

On this night, though, he had something else on his mind.

“I’m scared of the monster,” he said, with an innocent look in his eyes and fear on his face.

For once, I was speechless. No one in our house watches scary movies or shows, and we don’t even read scary books.

The “scariest” story he had ever heard likely was David vs. Goliath.

But he had seen a few cartoonish toddler-friendly “monsters” on TV, and his mind was swirling with creepy thoughts.

Of course, he was and is not alone in being afraid of imaginary objects in the dark—and it’s not just kids who are like that.

We seem to be hard-wired to be uneasy at night. Why? It’s the fear of the unknown and the mysterious. During the day, we easily could open the curtain and see that a tree branch is scraping the window. But at night? We can’t see what’s outside—and we’re certainly not going outside to explore. And so our imagination runs wild, often chasing the most frightening thought we can conjure.

I could have told him that “there are no monsters,” but that’s only half true. The real-world “monsters”—Satan and his demons—wreak more havoc than any on-screen monster ever will.

As it turns out, what I did tell my son—at least, most of what I said—is what I tell myself when I’m afraid. It’s quite simple: Continue reading →